I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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