Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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