Small penises have feelings too.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
