I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
