i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
The Olympian is in my bed
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
