I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
