I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
