Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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