I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
