After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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