My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
