The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
