I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
