Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
