He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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