***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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