dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am one with the molecules
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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