If that was your dad, he is hot
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
