my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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