we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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