Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
