just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
we made out on top of his cat.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
