shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
