There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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