So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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