I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
