I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
