The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
