Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
