I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I AM VODKA MAN
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
