I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i dont even know how to be here
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
