Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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