she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
