I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
