i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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