Plan B is the new Plan A
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
