i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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