I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
