Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
