did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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