I wanna passion pit in your ass
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
