Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
