I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
