He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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