these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
