i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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