That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
