I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
