they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
