dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
